Kindred Spirits

I'm up early on a Sunday morning because my mind is "bothered" so much. I love the way how I use "bother" in this sense. Only handful can comprehend to the tenor I use.

If no female can relate to the thinking of Louisa May Alcott and Lucy Maud Montgomery, then you've truly missed the essence of what is being a woman and breaking away from the constraints imposed by society's norm.

One man (good looking, talented, intelligent and quite known in the Manila society circles), asked me a few years ago, what was my favorite book. I simply and unabashedly said, Little Women and the works of LMA.

I think he found it cute but it was an unexpected reply from somebody, who turned a quarter of a century old - then. He must have been expecting something like today's Confessions of a Shopaholic.

Admittedly, his inquiry caught me off guard but if my mind was not cluttered so much then, I would have volunteered Nick Bantock for something more mature. But I suspect my answer made a very endearing impression on him about myself.

The term "kindred spirits" is from Montgomery's classic and monumental work - Anne of Green Gables. (While I am not a fan of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series, I would like to thank her for bringing into the radar this fantastic personality today. Even if it was just a mention or a reference for Bella Swan's wedding dress.)

Anne Shirley, an orphan adopted by siblings Matthew and Martha Cuthbert of Avonlea, infuses so much adventure in the quiet and sheltered life of Diana Barry, next door neighbor to the Cuthberts.

In the first book, Anne and Diana seal their friendship in a ceremony that is much for fairy tale in style (I was thinking in a setting similar to Lord of the Rings' Rivendell and costumed like the elf princess Arwen) and at the same time, very comic like in the Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (yes, draw a blood compact shall we?).

Best friends has never found itself in an elevated definition such as this but beyond this type cast, "kindred spirits" held for me a deeper meaning than that.

It meant openly locating, sweetly discovering and surprisingly aligning so much of yourself with someone or with people you would not have in the slightest idea you would click with.

I could opt to just say instantaneous connection but the elements of lightness and spontaneity afford it a different twist.

My preference for terming some of my relationships with people as fellow kindred spirits, somehow affords me this ease and comfort. Akin to a sanctuary but in a human sense.

Up at 4am

I woke up a little before 4am. I've begun doing some mind exercises last Friday - no, make that last Wednesday - to help myself.

I am supposed to work on my Governance Innovation Report but I found myself organizing one of my Gmail accounts. Admittedly, it felt good, lighter even redirecting some of the e-mails to another account. I felt these were encroaching too much on my personal space. The clutter and the stuffiness these brought seemed to reflect what has been going on recently with me.

Yes, it has been a while since I've updated this site of mine. I am sorry for not having lived up to my promise of doing so.

Just like my personal account which was heavily bombarded with so many e-mails (it really messed up my personal space and did not leave me much room to enjoy my sanctuary), I was struggling with my own issues of happiness, liberation, satisfaction, stability and independence.

Why I encountered this stifling sensation frustrated me. It drew me into a vortex that led me to doubt and insecurity. How I am dealing with these is another story. But I am now in a better disposition compared to before.

What I would like to share in this entry is how much writing has been the salve to soothe me.

My inner demons which brought me so much turmoil, distress and desperation were released and contained (somewhat like the Ghostbusters' electromagnetic ghost trapper) in a journal. My journal has been detailing the feelings, process, realizations, existential questions that brought me to my own decisions. Writing has been my constant companion as of late, calming me and freeing me of my own internal battles.

Before, I would use to tear up previous journal entries - and now that I am older and wiser, I regret doing so. I think this is a side of me which refused to reconcile a phase or a stage I had to undergo that was really awkward - embarrassing at times, painful, foolish. I thought these did not describe myself. I wanted a different projection of me. Now, I had enough sense to keep intact my diary from the time I started writing - and this was when I was ten years old.

Hahaha ... as I wrote that sentence it brought tears to my eyes. Regretful? Sentimental? A little of both I believe. Wow, that was a good release; not a full one but at least it eased the pressure inside of me. And so, here I am on an initial attempt to be more forgiving and accepting of myself.

Goals After Submitting My GIR

It was liberating to change my Governance Innovation Report (GIR) topic so I can fully finish my graduate degree with the Ateneo School of Government (ASoG). Changed topic, changed adviser and what I did not expect was the dean - Tony La Vina - specifically telling me that he insisted to help me in accomplishing it. How wonderful is that?!

With renewed interest and "aggression", I am intent to finish my "thesis" this year. Target: November 2010. I can almost smell that Masters in Public Management or MPM attachment at the end of my name.

Now that the GIR has captured my time and attention, I intend to treat myself to hobbies I took up and seemingly left "hanging". So here I am churning up a list of things I would like to pursue again after I am done.

1. Ballet (with Dione Estabillo) - Whenever I look at my pointes or toe shoes, I can't help but feel the strong tug to go back and dance. This will be the third time I will go back to the first thing I love. So Magdalena Dione, expect me to be with you in the dance studio around January 2011.

2. Piano - I used to enjoy pounding on the keyboard until I grew out of it. (Read as bored.) Now that our old piano is gone and I've rekindled a love to play tunes, I'd like to fill our home with soothing music my mom and I can hum, sing and sway to.

3. German and Spanish lessons - It's such a waste that I did not get to fully utilize these. Especially my German since I graduated with a minor in that language. Time to take out the rustiness by reviewing my notes, lessons and books. This will also prepare me for another round of studies - this time overseas. More on this in a later post.

4. Target shooting - Aside from the fact that I am trigger happy, this activity will be my bonding with my cousin Pinggoy. Plus, I can't wait to earn my license to own a gun for my protection.

5. Scuba diving (!) - Ah yes, my dive master and my diving friends have been wondering about when I am going back to diving. I miss the sea and everything in it. It was also another sanctuary and a relief from stress when I was into it.

There are more I know but these are the "immediate" so to speak. Will share more of my goals in another post. But because I took these up and never bother to sustain these interests, I think it is about time that I took these seriously.

The initial investments made and seeing the materials/ equipment I purchased haunt, nag and remind me (and yeah I guess whisper at me disturbingly). I should add ultimate frisbee here but it will depend on how healed my left hip is.

So much to look forward to after the GIR. Another way of providing myself incentives. Not bad really.

Magdalena Feast

While toggling over recent posts on Facebook (via Tweetdeck, which I am loving tremendously), I encountered this status message from a friend: "Today (July 21) is the feast day of [St.] Mary Magdalene."

Hastily I texted my other three girl friends - Camille, Dione and Vero. We bunch actually nicknamed ourselves "Magdalenas" after embarking on a pilgrimage last May 2009 (not because of the Da Vinci Code). Why we did, upcoming posts will uncover it. In fact, I'm actually keeping a list of our adventures and its corresponding highlights be it as a complete group or less.

Needless to say, Vero and Camille were giggling upon stumbling on this fact. Happy feast day indeed to us!

For now, I just had to refresh and update this blog of mine, which I have been negligent towards to. Sorry dear blog. I shall infuse you with many of my thoughts and my stories soon. That is a promise.

Hugs

When was the last time you were hugged?

I've always felt better when hugged tightly. Hugs do have the power to erase the bad vibes. So it is no wonder that some people from the US and I think recently from Korea or Japan began lining up crowded streets.

With placards strung or signs hanging across their bodies saying that they are giving free hugs, they wasted no time approaching pedestrians, commuters, practically anybody who they deemed needed a hug. Miraculously, frowns and lines disappeared instantaneously. Of course, there were others who were just fine receiving a random hug from a stranger.

I can't recall if anybody turned them down. Well too bad if somebody did. The hug would have made a whole world of difference.

Words to live by from Sheila Lirio Marcelo

Had a video conference this morning (May 5, 2010) with a Filipina entrepreneur Sheila Lirio Marcelo. Based in the Boston, she put up Care.com, a website offering babysitting services for people (elderly, kids, handicapped, people with special needs) and pets. Aside from babysitting or caregiving services, Care.com also offers tutoring and housekeeping.

Sheila was named as one of Fortune's Most Powerful Women Entrepreneurs in the US last 2009. So how cool, how awesome can a Wednesday morning be right? Listening to a founder and CEO, who landed in Fortune's Top 10 List of Emerging Women Entrepreneurs, almost side by side (via conference screens) with people from Santa Clara and New York certainly ought to perk one up early in the morning. I definitely felt privileged to have joined this first networking mixer organized by friends from the Filipino Entrepreneurs Network (FEN), based in California.

Sheila is certainly impressive. Her LinkedIn profile indicates that she graduated magna cum laude from Mount Holyoke College with a degree in Economics and pursued dual master's degrees from Harvard University in Business and Law, graduating with honors. Despite being a Type A girl she is nonetheless a very humble woman.

I'd like to share the things which struck me the most during our one hour conference.

Sheila smilingly disclosed that she lives "a life of managed chaos." I think some of us could actually relate as we do tread similar paths every waking days of our lives. Managing and prioritizing (especially when there are messes and hitches) is a core skill we develop and perpetually carry with us for our survival (and may I add, sanity). :) Conducting one's life in "managed chaos" for me is to explore and discover creatively our capacity to overcome challenges and seek the order we want in delivering quality work.

The second thing which struck me was when she said that in order for a business or enterprise to succeed, one must love selling (be it a product or a service) and be an evangelist. This responsibility is not limited to to sales people and heads of sales departments; even CEOs have to sell and evangelize their businesses.

Honestly, I used to hate marketing and selling. I avoided it all costs. That's why I found myself aiming for a career in the non-profit sector preferring to do (what I thought was quiet work) research and project management. Little did I know, when I decided to mobilize resources for the whole Ateneo, fund raising was the counterpart of marketing and sales in the development world.

Fund raising has educated and opened my eyes to my latent skill of marketing/selling. Speaking of selling, Sheila emphasized that it should not only be plain selling. It should be PASSION SELLING wherein 80% of your sales pitch is emotion and 20% is logic - and I've witnessed that this approach well, sells well.

So much so, it made me remember my former boss in Synergeia Foundation, former Finance Undersecretary Milwida "Nene" Guevara. I remember Ma'am Nene saying that "init na init siya" whenever she was asked to talk about Synergeia's work in education and local governance. What drives her in her passion selling is seeing not only children but communities and their local chief executives working together in maturing the education system in their towns, municipalities and provinces.

Lastly (and I should really apply this) is to know how to pace one's self. We all seem to be in a mad rush to accomplish so many things in so little time. Eventually, we experience this premature exhaustion, a depleted feeling as if the life or energy was sucked out clean from our bodies, our minds and our spirits. I think that is what constitutes being burnt out.

Admittedly, I am a victim of pushing-myself-too-hard-and-working-myself-too-hard-as-if-no-other-day-would-come follies. Nowadays though I make a conscious effort to remind myself, "Pace (and prioritize!) your energy, ideas, activities Nicole" or else, my health (and my sanity) will suffer. And I don't want to feel that I won't be of tremendous use anymore.

Sheila had so many wonderful things to share but these three are my tops; these are what impressed me the most. Now, the next step would be for me to take all these to heart and share these with as many people possible.

Coffee, Conversations and Company

For me, an idyllic picture of contentment after a horrendous day at work would be coffee, conversations and company.

Braving through the much anticipated rain and traffic from Alabang to Makati, I met up with fellow compatriots from the One Tama movement and new-found friend Zarah "Zee" Perez from Starbucks Philippines' Global Responsibility group.

Zee's responsible for Dialogues@Starbucks - a move to elevate coffee shop conversations into a networking and launching forum of good works. When I met her, I just knew that we would connect. My favorite term for that is "kindred spirits" (Anne of Green Gables). Zee is obsessed (I mean this in a good way) of putting the spotlight on unknown yet potential Pinoy gamechangers.

My One Tama group is an example; we adopt small yet doable things to influence the way how things are ran in Philippine everyday life. From bringing one's own bag to the grocery store to demanding receipts for purchases to following traffic rules to greeting/ smiling at/ thanking taxi drivers when getting inside/outside the cab and more.

Last night was about the upcoming 2010 elections but I won't write about that here. I want to focus on the simple yet deeply appreciative things such as coffee, conversations and company melting away figurative toxins.

Just talking with Zee about how we can work together for the Brain Gain Network - a pet project of my boss Paco Sandejas - and Dialogues@Starbucks, interlaced with news from our other partners and friends we regularly engage with, did not seem to tire us out at all. I guess if one is so madly in love with work, talking about it is so effortless, light, exciting that you can actually feel yourself getting so hyped up.

Because of the rains, Starbucks was a bit empty --- and it added a bit of an allure to it. Quiet, soothing, and relaxing, talking felt more wonderful as we did not have to scream at each other so we can hear what we're saying. I notice when coffee shops get crowded (sure, it's good for business but ...) the ambiance shifts dramatically.

But yeah, going back to what I was writing, last night was a perfect night for caffeine (though we did not have any, smelling the brews was just so heavenly) and catch-up time. The 3 C's seemed to have pull us out of what seemed like zombie states, lulling us into a world of engagements (work - again - and otherwise), pride in being Filipinos, and nurturing relationships.

We parted close to ten in the evening. Admittedly, we were already feeling petered out but knowing that we were well and good put things at peace ... until we find ourselves activated by an idea bug or Eureka moment that one just has to get a hold of each other in the soonest possible time.